Dacă-s supărat că nu sufăr, se pune că-s fericit?

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Sau însuşi faptul că-s bine e deprimant?

Scriam cândva că n-am iubit niciodată, de fapt. De atunci am fost cu Bianca şi mi-am dat seama că pot, totuşi, iubi chiar şi eu.

Dar nu pentru foarte mult, fiindcă am înşelat-o, apoi am convenit că m-a iertat, apoi am dezamăgit-o şi în alte aspecte şi apoi m-a părăsit exact cum meritam.

Mna, dar acum sunt bine. Îmi place să-ncerc să cred că nu, fiindcă mă face să mă simt mai bine despre mine, dacă mă simt rău despre mine.

Da’ tot mă-ntorc după cururi pe stradă, deci să fim serioşi – sunt un imbecil autosuficient.

Ultima speranţă de sănătate mintală se bazează pe faptul că-mi displace un pic să realizez că ba da, sunt chiar bine. Să nu mă-nţelegeţi greşit – sunt satisfăcător de ignorant şi limitat intelectual (nu-s convins de aia cu inteligenţa emoţională) cât să fiu ok cu mine însumi, dar asta nu-nseamnă că-s bine, obiectiv. În general, sunt foarte rău, pentru oricine altcineva şi sunt maximum meh, pentru mine însumi.

Am iubit de fiecare dată, însă numai până fix în punctul în care am fost iubit înapoi.

Practic, eu mă iubesc pe mine cel mai mult şi fac eforturi doar ca să conving şi pe altele că am dreptate.

Acum m-am înamorat sistematic de vreo 7 (ŞAPTE!) fete (am rotunjit în jos), deodată, ca să fac în sfârşit progrese reale. Că nu mai pot aşa, câte una, câte una. Mai am şi o carieră, se mai strică câte-un căcat la rulotă…

Le-am anunţat pe toate să se ferească şi-ntreg planul se desfăşoară conform aşteptărilor emoţionale – mai mult sau puţin dezastruos.

Pe o treime-juma’ din ele le cheamă la fel, cu mici variaţiuni în nume. Alexandra, Alecsandra, de astea. Pe una o cheamă Carmen, aia e gravă, ca pe mami, vă daţi seama ce se-ntâmplă acolo. Mai e o Oana, care e vecină cu mami.

Este un eşantion foarte reprezentativ – cel puţin două sunt foste prietene ale unor prieteni buni. Şi sunt foarte bune ele însele. Trebuie să-mi mai aleg o actuală prietenă bună a unui bun prieten, strict pentru acurateţe ştiinţifică.

Exclus foste prietene de-ale mele, doar fiindcă au mai fost incluse, nu că aş avea eu principii. A, şi mai sunt câteva cu nume mai specifice, nu vi le pot spune, că ar fi identificate prea uşor. Nume de alea tâmpite gen Luana, Ada (nu aia, alta).

Deşi sunt într-o cantitate cumulată mare, să ştiţi că toate sunt de calitate, luate separat.

Sunt împrăştiate peste tot, deci pot să mă decid şi-n funcţie de calitatea vieţii, oferta pe zboruri low cost, dacă au loc de parcare la mai puţin de 25 de metri de-o priză industrială şi-n care pot intra fără servodirecţie (alea care-s în Zalău ar fi cele mai dezavantajate, din motive evidente).

Vă mai ţin la curent cu eşecul în cascadă.

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