Sunt bine.

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Am aflat cât e de greu de găsit cineva valoros.

Aproape la fel de greu cât să am o şansă să fie pentru mine.

Ştiu cât sunt de prost.

Ştiu cât de puţin valoros reuşesc eu să fiu, dar şi cât de valoros pot să fiu.

Uneori, rar, îmi dau seama că tot ce vreau este, în ordinea dorinţei, proporţional superficial şi-nşelător, începând de la sex oral şi terminând la aripioare picante, indiferent dacă sunt ordonate crescător sau descrescător.

Alteori, şi mai rar, realizez că tot ce am nevoie mi se arată, des, doar că nu văd eu sau aleg să nu-mi pese, şi mai des. Şi e bun. E tot.

Încerc să-mi fac ordine-ntre gânduri, în suflet, impulsuri, în corp, jururile mele concentrice, în viaţă.

Am întâlnit din nou pe cineva valoros. N-o să o dau de gard tura asta.

Nici n-o să fiu fericit, pentru că n-o să primesc ce merit. Fiindcă merit cândva, dar până să merit – nu acum – am multă ignoranţă şi indiferenţă de plătit din trecut.

Poate-o să scriu mai mult.

După ce-ţi dai seama ce eşti, ce nu eşti, ce poţi, ce nu ai cum să ştii, mai vine şi cealaltă fiinţă, care trebuie să fie la fel însă invers, da’ cu precizie, mulându-se perfect pe ce-ţi lipseşte şi-ţi dă, şi pe ce-i trebuie ei şi ai.

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