Este o marţi ordinară

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Aproape toate sunt marţi ordinare, inclusiv unele miercuri şi sâmbete. Deci până şi alte zile sunt nişte marţi ordinare.

Să convenim că majoritatea zilelor sunt normale. Nici nu sunt ieşite din comun de favorabile. Nici nu se întâmplă nimica neapărat grav. În ciuda dramatismului dorit, cele mai multe zile sunt în regulă.

Zi de zi…

Nu este nevoie de nici un fel de motivaţional. Calmaţi-vă. Nu trebuie să vă încurajaţi pe sine dimineaţa, în văzul lumii, cu pretextul că-i încurajaţi pe alţii. La fel cum nu este necesar şi nu vă face nici un serviciu pe termen lung să vă miorlăiţi că este luni sau să jubilaţi că vine weekendul, iar dispoziţia să vă fie coordonată de zilele de concediu. Viaţa n-ar trebui să vă placă sau displacă pe criterii calendaristice.

Treziţi-vă, mâncaţi ceva bun şi/sau sănătos. Mergeţi la lucru, ca să vă puteţi lua ceva sănătos şi/sau bun la prânz şi orice vă e poftă la cină, iar la sfârşitul săptămânii să ieşiţi în oraş şi vă îmbătaţi, că oricum nu contează, mâncarea gătită cică e proastă toată. Trăiţi oricum, că este suficient. Chiar nu vă trebuie mai mult, aveţi tot.

Sau staţi acasă, pe banii altora, e şi asta acceptabil, dacă au alţii bani. Şi ieşiţi în oraş în fiecare seară.

Dar măcar daţi mai departe ceva folositor făcut de altcineva. De cele mai multe ori ceva folositor va fi făcut de altcineva, de cei puţini, nu de voi şi noi, cei mulţi. Şi e bine aşa. Nu interesează pe nimeni cum vă simţiţi, pentru că n-aveţi de ce să vă simţiţi prea rău, caz în care nu-i interesează şi nici n-ar trebui să îi intereseze pe toţi. Ci eventual pe unii, care oricum ştiu. Când vă simţiţi chiar excelent, atunci puteţi să ziceţi tuturor. În rest, fiecare să-şi vadă-n pizda mă-sii de treabă.

Pe Internet…

Care şi-a şters vreodată o reţea de socializare pentru că nu se poate concentra de ea (şi implicit şi-a reactivat-o, că nu mai există şters cu adevărat şi nici n-am vrea înăuntrul nostru), acea persoană are o problemă de concentrare în general şi-o va avea şi la următoarea distracţie. Reţeaua de socializare a fost distracţia de la momentul respectiv. Nu vă mai răzgândiţi atât.

O persoană care e copleşită de ce-i îndeasă prietenii pe newsfeed – ori are prieteni prost aleşi, ori e proastă persoana însăşi, fiindcă online-ul are un avantaj decisiv asupra offline-ului: setările. Cu precădere, aceea de-aţi pune prietenii pe mute, dacă tot ţi-s prea proşti. Ceea ce fac şi eu adeseori şi îmi provoacă nespusă satisfacţie. Faceţi la fel cu ei, faceţi la fel cu mine.

Nu vă mai delimitaţi pretenţioşi prietenii între virtuali şi reali şi viaţa între realitate şi pe net. Persoane cu care interacţionaţi plăcut sunt prieteni. Activităţi care vă plac sunt autentice. Nu contează în ce registru se petrec. Nu vă ascundeţi în spatele monitoarelor, dar nici în faţa lor. Nu există un nimeni mai important pe stradă decât un cineva pe Internet şi nici invers.

Şi nu vă mai daţi altcineva decât cine sunteţi, în special care nu puteţi să fiţi. Fiindcă e mai uşor să fiţi voi, chiar şi de căcat. Distraţi-vă mai mult şi plângeţi-vă mai puţin.

Iar acum… nişte bătaie de joc abjectă!

***

Iar domnişoarele de mai jos au fost adăugate la rubrica Eu.

AliceAlice – a doua veşnic pierdută

Alice este persoana pentru care a părăsit-o Darius pe Lavinia (deşi acesteia din urmă i-a trecut ulterior şi, surprinzător, chiar nu s-a sinucis nimeni până acum, în toată istoria) şi a doua persoană de care Darius s-a despărţit singur, fără să îl fi înşelat în prealabil. A fost una dintre bambinele cele mai îndrăgite de comunitatea Jeg, în special de către Dan Toader şi de către Dan Toader şi mai ales fiindcă Darius n-a scris mai nimic în perioada ei. Tudor susţine că Alice este “chiar atrăgătoare”, acesta fiind un eufemism pentru faptul că nu poate să o fută. Şi pe bună dreptate, este atrăgătoare, fiindcă acum nici Darius nu mai poate, Alice fiind tare supărată pe el. Tudor, poţi. Alice a contribuit la Jeg iubindu-l pe Darius şi traducându-i în engleză textele, când acesta era plecat în Africa.

***

TeodoraTeodora – veşnic găsita

Pe Teodora Darius a găsit-o pe Internet şi şi-a însuşit-o în viaţa reală. Asta s-a întâmplat recent, însă a fost adăugată la această rubrică atât de timpuriu deoarece intenţionează să o aibă mereu. Este adevărat că fata, la momentul descoperirii, era cu altu’, însă nu era a cuiva efectiv, motiv pentru care Darius şi-a făcut-o a lui. Celălalt a rămas pe Internet, unde a scris o carte despre asta şi întreţine un Twitter extraordinar de prost.

Teodora pare să îl iubească pe Darius aşa cum îi place acestuia din urmă. Se va avansa cu sporită vigilenţă. Oricum, ar fi păcat pentru cititori ca Teodora să nu-l facă deloc să sufere, iar acesta să nu mai poată scrie nimica-n veci, fiind fericit cu ea pentru tot restul vieţii.

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